Letter to My Mother

Mom,

                It’s hard to describe the gut-wrenching pain I feel when you stare into space. Wondering. Wishing. Thinking. Or when you question yourself as a mother. I meant it with every fiber of my being when I said you were the best mother I could ever hope for, the greatest woman to raise me into the woman I am today. I have watched you move mountains for me and my siblings. Fight tooth and nail to give us the opportunities you never had. You have done more than enough. And you are more than enough for me as a mother.

                I think back to the nights you were exhausted from working all day and yet you always put food on the table. You made everyone else’s plate before making your own. Sacrificed the chance to rest your aching body to give me back rubs until I fell asleep. You sacrificed well-deserved sleep to listen to me go on and on about things I didn’t even remember the next week. You have always been a good listener.

                I remember nights of sitting in between your knees at the couch while you worked miracles on my tender-headed locks. Never stopping even when your wrists were hurting, and your fingers begged for a break. Because you wanted me to feel beautiful. And I always wanted to be as beautiful as you. I would watch as your hair cascaded down your back and the coconut oil glistened on your curls. I just knew I would be as beautiful as you one day. Not just outside, but also as beautiful as your heart.

                You’ve given everything for me and my siblings. You’ve helped strangers with many a favor. I’ve watched you take on more than your job duties all in the name of goodness. The goodness that resides in you and will forever be a part of you. Because you have a heart of gold and a wonderful soul.

                You are the quintessential mother, the greatest of the great. I hope you feel that in your bones. I hope it warms you inside. You deserve to be acknowledged and this letter is just that, an acknowledgement. Of the unconditional love, joy, and inspiration that you have poured into me for nearly twenty-four years. It’s the least I could do—the rock bottom least. And if God will make it so, I will give you everything, and more, that you deserve. If only I could lasso the sun for you, I would because you already lassoed the moon for me.

                I hope God aligns the stars to create your very own constellation when your body leaves this Earth so I can continue to look up to you the way I always have. But we still have many, many, many years before that time will come, and I thank God for every day I am blessed with your presence in my life. I would truly be lost without you.

                Thank you for the guidance and wisdom you have instilled in me. I hope to reflect that with my own children one day and pass on your legacy of love. I love you, Mom, with every beat of my heart.

Your daughter forever and for always,

Pooh